You know those bumper stickers that say “God is my co-pilot?”

If any of you aspire to win the lottery, give me a shout. I know a sweet 80 year old lady who could pick the winning numbers for you right now. Her luck is that good.

How else to explain how a woman in the early stages of dementia could hop in her car, drive roughly 280 miles towards no particular destination, run her land yacht off the road and travel over 356 feet through a muddy field, launch herself over an earthen dam and travel an additional 182 feet in the air, jump a river and land nose first into the steep bank on the other side, totally demolishing her vehicle, which then slid into the river and somehow bogged in the soft mud without slipping into the deeper water…

…and come away from it with nothing more than a fractured sternum.

If, in the near future, you should see a heavyset but devastatingly handsome paramedic whooping it up at a casino, a shallow but surgically enhanced supermodel on each arm, lighting his cigars with $50 bills, you’ll know some of her luck rubbed off on me.