If The Waiting Time Is A Factor…

… you’re looking for a restaurant, not an Emergency Department.

Dear Malingering System Abuser Type,

When you mention that you’ve had your minor symptoms for four days, and that you wouldn’t normally go to Hospital A except by ambulance, because arriving on a stretcher gets you seen faster…

… I’m going to mention that to the triage nurse at Hospital A.

And when the triage nurse, after an eyeball assessment and a quick check of vital signs, disabuses you of that foolish notion by sending your butt to the waiting room…

… it does not behoove you to call 911 after only a 10-minute wait, and request to be taken to Hospital B.

Because, you see, when your age and symptoms pop up on my little magic screen, and the location is the hospital waiting room we just left, I’m going to pick up my phone and drop a call to the triage nurse at the hospital you just requested. They don’t much care for such shenanigans, and they’ll let you take root out in the waiting room, just on general principles.

This ain’t our first rodeo with your kind, sir. Try not to get bedsores sitting on those hard chairs, and I hope you like watching C-Span with the volume down for the next four hours.

Love and kisses,

Ambulance Driver