Mother Of The Year

Thirty years old.

Eight months pregnant with her tenth child.

At a bar.

At 5:00 am.

Medical history: Significant only for polybabydaddia, chronic and apparently uncontrolled.

Mechanism of injury: An altercation with a candidate for Inseminator, 2011 Edition.

I'll not describe her further, but let's just say that "employed" and "privately insured" are terms rarely used to describe her socioeconomic demographic.

If OSHA knew how much traffic her vagina gets, they'd make her install hand rails.