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Overheard On The Bolance

Dispatch Drone: "Head quarters to Borg Cube 69."

Ambulance Driver: "Go for 69."

DD: "69, we need you to respond to Fydallo Ho Expressway eastbound near the Chili's, red Chevy Silverado pickup pulled over in the emergency lane with his hazard lights on. 38-year-old male with a spider bite."

[sounds of AD banging his head against the dash]

AD: "Aaahhh, Dispatch, could you repeat your traffic? That came through kinda garbled."

DD: "Fydallo Ho Expressway, eastbound,  at mile marker 29. Red Chevy Silverado pickup, driver says he's – "

AD: "Um, yeah, Dispatch. Guess you weren't garbled after all. 69 responding to the emergent spider bite pulled over one mile from the hospital."

[more sounds of AD banging his head against the dash, whimpering in despair for the human species]

*** five minutes later ***

DD: "69, you can cancel your call. Patient says he's gonna try to make it on to the hospital himself."

AD: "I'm sure it'll be an ordeal, but here's hoping he makes it alive, Dispatch. Godspeed to you, Spider Bite Man, Godspeed…"

Comments - Add Yours

  • Ka9vsz

    Wanna bet it’s really a pimple?

  • Pclemmer

    Problem most likely stems from lack of education about venomous creatures. Due to movies and TV portrayals, most people think any venomous creature is going to have you gasping your last breath in five minutes or less. Throw that in with PSA warnings not to drive yourself after a snake bite or during a heart attack, and you get this.

  • Anonymous

    But it ‘could’ have been DANGEROUS… sigh…

  • Docbrito

    i am laughing right now because i had a spider bite call last night for the lady who go bit by the spider 3 weeks ago.

  • Rogue Medic

    You can’t leave us hanging like this. Was there a multiple car pile up, with vehicles flying in all directions, gas tanks exploding, diesel tanks exploding, propane tanks exploding, windshield washer tanks exploding and a scene so bad that you flew this patient half a mile to the hospital?

    Do tell.

    Borg Cube 69?

    I guess that new partner is copacetic. 

  • Tamara Keel

    Godspeed to you, Spider Bite Man, Godspeed…

    I held it together all the way to here, FWIW, and then I collapsed into the big shrieking laughter.