First Arriving Network
First Arriving Network

Cheese, Cracker, Some Assembly Required

In the back of an ambulance, somewhere in Louisiana…

Patient (at the top of her lungs): “It took them three fucking years to figure out what is wrong with me!”

AD: “Oh, my. That must have been terrible.”

Patient (eyes bulging now): “And that fucking hospital runs staff through like cattle at shift change! And nobody even listens to me!”

AD: “I’m listening to you. There’s no need to shout, I’m right here.”

Patient (spittle flying now): “I have to shout to get anybody to fucking listen to me!”

AD: “No, you don’t. When you scream and shout, people just tune you out.”

Patient (who now should have her picture in the dictionary, under “apoplexy”): “Yes I do! Yes I do! My fucking specialist wants to send me back to my GP, and my GP wants to send me to the specialist! Nobody wants to fucking deal with me!”

AD (tuning her out): “Mmmmm hmmmm…”

Nobody wants to deal with her. Color me surprised.

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