Overheard In The ED

Nurse: “And how many times did your defibrillator fire, sir?”

Patient: “Just once. I know I’m only supposed to come in if it fires more than twice, but after it shocked me 35 times last time, I’m a little gun shy.”

Nurse: “I remember that. You had been out of your antiarrhythmic medication for a week, right?”

Patient: “Yeah, but I haven’t missed a dose in three months this time around. I wonder what caused it tonight?”

AD: “Hearts are a lot like women, sir. Sometimes they get bitchy and irritable, and we never know the reason why.”

Nurse: “Oooooh, I cannot believe you just went there.”

Partner (rolling her eyes): “He’s been waiting all night for someone to hand him a straight line like that.”