Fussy Grandmother: “Now don’t you drop my grand-baby!”
AD (winking at the child’s mother): “We do try to avoid such things, Ma’am. Too much paperwork involved.”
FG (huffily) “Well, doesn’t that beat all! You’re more concerned with paperwork than taking care of my granddaughter!”
AD: “Taking care of brave, pretty little girls like her is the easy part, Ma’am. It’s much harder to do the paperwork and calm down the panicky grandmothers.”
FG: “I’m not panicky! I’m calm!”
AD: “Ma’am, you were waving your arms so frantically we could feel the breeze all the way from the road.”
Child’s Mother:” [spit take]…”
You can get away with saying things like that after you’ve just hit the IV the mother never thought you’d get, much less convince her scared pre-schooler to sit still while you did it.
That’s why they call me The Baby Whisperer.