When a Felony Is Not a Felony

When you're a drunk Brooklyn prosecutor.

Mr. Jaccarino was so drunk, Ms. Walton told Judge Melissa A. Crane, that it would have been difficult to prove that he meant to assault Ms. Soler. She added that if Mr. Jaccarino’s "intoxication was of such an extent and nature to render him incapable of forming the particular criminal intent, then he would not be criminally responsible for committing this crime."

So let me get this straight. You're a lawyer and officer of the court – a prosecuting attorney for the Yew York D.A.'s office, in fact – and you punch and attempt to choke to death a female EMT who is trying to help you – care for which you initially consented, by the way – it becomes a misdemeanor and gets you out of jail time because you were drunk at the time.

Let's flip this around. Let's say Teresa Soler has had tee many martoonis before work, and while driving her ambulance, she happens to plow Mr. Jaccarino into a greasy spot in the pavement as he is leaving the couthourse. Leaving aside the obligatory dead lawyer jokes, does anyone believe that Ms. Soler wouldn't be prosecuted for felony intoxication manslaughter and have to serve time behind bars?

How about if she were off-duty, drunk in her own vehicle, and the same thing happened? You think A.D.A. Walton would let her skate because she was drunk?

Or do you only get that kind of lenience when you work with/for the office responsible for prosecuting your crime?

Michael Jaccarino is a douchebag, and deserves to spend a few months at Riker's, being the personal plaything of some of the guys he put behind bars.