Nursing Home Nurse: “Her lung sounds are really diminished and I can’t get an oxygen saturation on her. She needs to go to the ED for evaluation.”
Ambulance Driver: “Howdy, young lady. How you feelin’ tonight?”
Patient (pleasantly): “Just fine, young man. I’d really rather go back to sleep than go to the hospital.”
NHN (patronizingly): “You have to go to the hospital, sugar. You’re sick.”
Patient (bewildered): “I don’t feel sick!”
AD: “No problems breathing at all?”
Patient (taking a deep breath to demonstrate): “Nope, fit as a fiddle!”
NHN: (forcefully): “You have to go to the hospital.”
AD: “Actually, no, she doesn’t.”
NHN: “Her lung sounds are severely diminished and I can’t even pick up an oxygen saturation!”
AD (peering more closely at the nurse): “Uh, Ma’am? You think that might be because she’s wearing dark nail polish and your stethoscope is missing its diaphragm?”
NHN: “SHE HAS TO – huh? Oh… so it is.”
AD (to patient): “Sign here, dear. Have a good night.”