Overheard On The Bolance

On a lonely country road:

AD: “Dispatch, we’re gonna need some help finding this address. Can you get us a flagdown?”

Monosynaptic Dullard On The Console: “Uuuhhh… stand by.”

Skinny: “This dude is clueless. We look like idiots driving around like this.”

MDC: “Uuuhhh, CCT 586? Are there any sheriff’s deputies around?”

AD: “If there were any fucking deputies around, I’d be asking them and not dicking around with your stupid ass, you worthless cretin.”

Skinny (wide-eyed): “Uuuhhh… dude.

AD: “I didn’t have the mike keyed. I’m subversive, not stupid.”

Skinny: “Seriously, that dude needs to spend a couple of weeks on an ambulance, just to get a taste of his own medicine.”

AD: “Never work. They’d have to replace him with another dispatcher, so he’d never experience the pain of being dispatched by someone like himself.”

  • Guest

    As someone who moved from the field and into comms I feel your pain. I can’t help but cringe at some of the things I hear said over the consul, in both directions. Kudos to you for doing what you do!

  • Old_NFO

    True dat!!! But THOSE delays never get counted against dispatch… sigh

  • Tim Dougherty

    So what you’re saying is that the dispatchers I had when delivering pizza’s had more skill than the ones you have in the emergency services? Maybe some cross training should be arranged.

  • Scott Kenny

    I’d suggest that someone needs to beat the stupid (or lazy, not sure which) out of that dispatcher, but I’m afraid that would leave MDC’s head completely empty.

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Kelly Grayson


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