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Overheard On The Bolance

Waiting for a bed at a local Emergency Department:

Drunk Violent Guy: "Hey. Hey, man! Why you tied me down, man? I ain't done nothing to you!"

AD: "Not so. You swung at me, and grabbed my partner hard enough to leave bruises."

DVG: "Thass a fuckin' lie. I ain't grabbed nobody!"

AD: "Blackouts and memory loss are a strong clue you have a drinking problem, sir."

DVG: "I ain't no fuckin' akkaholic!"

AD: "So is denial, sir."

DVG: "I'm a nice guy, man. I'm just drunk. You can let me up, I'll be good."

AD: "Alcohol is a personality enhancer, sir. When I drink, I just get louder and friendlier."

Lesbian Partner: "Whereas you, on the other hand…"

DVG: "Yer a fuckin' asshole."

Lesbian Partner: "Actually, he goes by 'Dickhead'."

AD: "Mr. Dickhead to you."

DVG: "I love you guys. Yer fuckin' awesome."

Drunks, gotta love 'em.

Comments - Add Yours

  • Dave in IL

    Ha, nicely done!
    I’m a new EMT who comes to EMS after a decade of healthcare security experience. I have played the straight man to many a drunk and I expect this to continue. When you interact with intoxicated people almost every day at work, everyone else comes off looking so rational. At least until people become intoxicated by too much ideology, religion, power…well crap, maybe sober people aren’t that rational either.

    Kelly, great blog! I intend to check it regularly for tips and laughs.