FIRST ARRIVING NETWORK
First Arriving Network
Powered by the First Arriving Network, Reaching 1M+ First Responders Worldwide

Overheard On The Bolance

On the third trip, to the third hospital in the last four hours, for the same malingering trustee of modern chemistry:

AD: “So, why’d you leave the ER?”

MTMC: “Man, they wasn’t doing anything to help me!”

AD: “How do you that? You weren’t there fifteen minutes before you walked out and called 911 from the parking lot.”

MTMC: “Fuck you, man. Why you frontin’ me? I’m dying here, and none of you motherfuckers cares!”

AD: “Nice tatt on your arm, dude. ‘Fuck the system’ is a wonderful way to express your disdain for the system you’re abusing tonight.”

MTMC: “The system fuckin’ sucks, dude. All y’all suck.”

AD (to partner): “Take him to triage. He’s got a reserved seat in the waiting room.”

MTMC: “Man, y’all suck! Y’all don’t care if I die!”

AD: “Lucky for you, you’ve had four EKGs and two full medical screening exams in the past four hours that show you can safely sit in the waiting room for a few hours before you get your next set.

Tonight, I guess the system fucks back.”

Comments - Add Yours

  • Old_NFO

    You’re a better man than I to put up with that shit…

  • GHS

    Does the Borg policy require you to transport to a different ED? Our solution was to always return them to whence they came. Even if they walked a 1/4 mile away and tried to convince us that they hadn’t been to a hospital in days. Usually if we said we’re going to take you to the closest hospital they’d say “I can’t go BACK there, they suck..”

    Those were the ones that were actually smart enough to remove the wrist bands and electrodes. Which weren’t most of them. Not to mention the ones wearing Johnnies with the hospital logo on them.

    We get to deal with some real rocket scientists, don’t we?