Humor

Sent to me by a reader, an EMS dispatcher from New Jersey:

In my city, when you're dispatched to the parish juvenile detention center, our GPS mapping software leads you to Chuck E. Cheese*. True story. * I'd say "directly to Chuck E. Cheese," but I don't think our route instructions lead you anywhere directly…

… there's a new post up on EMS1.com. Top Ten Signs Your Dispatcher Hates You. Enjoy!

Now there's a movement I could get behind!           * Not an actual movement. Photo posed for humorous purposes only. Don't get excited, Dr. Bledsoe. 😉

What is it with Blogorado and hitting deer? I killed the biggest deer of my life at Blogorado 2009, took him down at a dead run with a 318 Dakota. FarmGirl hits an elk with her Crown Victoria earlier in the year, leading to the construction of the Blogorado War Wagon and Death Machine, and then I take down a ...

… there's a new Top Ten List on EMS1.com. Top Ten Most Commonly Misinterpreted EMS Abbreviations. Enjoy!

Bringing a patient to the ED just now, I noticed a trail of detritus and blood drops leading out the doors to the ambulance bay. Out of curiosity, I followed the blood drops and bloody footprints back to a room. In the hallway just outside the room, there was a half empty banana bag (a standard bag of saline with ...

Joe Packowski on how EMS providers view each other. Chuck Norris would be the perfect medical director, too.  Evidence-based medicine? Pshaw. Chuck Norris decides what is evidence, and science follows suit, baby.

Dispatch Drone: "Head quarters to Borg Cube 69." Ambulance Driver: "Go for 69." DD: "69, we need you to respond to Fydallo Ho Expressway eastbound near the Chili's, red Chevy Silverado pickup pulled over in the emergency lane with his hazard lights on. 38-year-old male with a spider bite." [sounds of AD banging his head against the dash] AD: "Aaahhh, ...

… there's a new column up on EMS1.com. Top 10 Celebrities It Would be Cool To Work A Shift With. Enjoy!

Ambulance Driver: "Heya, Mercy General. This is AD on Borg Cube 387, 5 minutes out with Patient X, who is apparently suffering from, well… let's call it acute exacerbation of chronic Patient X-ness." ED Nurse (sighing): "So she's drunk and fighting with her boyfriend again? What is it this time, abdominal pain or demonic possession?" AD: "Not really sure, haven't ...

Colorado Teen Injured Grinding Fireworks in Coffee Grinder. A Colorado teen is recovering from serious burns he suffered when the fireworks he was attempting to mix in a coffee grinder exploded… The blast shook the house of a fire inspector who lives about a quarter-mile away. Reading that, all I can think of is the rise and fall of the ...

Ambulance Driver: "Well man, looks like you're in good hands. Good luck to you, and here's to better luck in choosing female companionship in the future." Stabbing Victim: "Yeah, like a girlfriend that won't stab me. That's the second one." AD: "Maybe you ought to have them fill out a questionnaire or something, like 'Do you feel like sharp weapons ...

… I have a new column up on EMS1.com. Top 10 Ways To Be a TV Medic.

A Cleveland, TX man is airlifted to Memorial Hermann Medical Center in Houston after an encounter with a feral housecat: At some point during the attack, the man and the cat reportedly were injured by a knife the man was holding. The man was taken to Cleveland Regional Medical Center before being transported to Houston. Thus disproving the theory that ...