KatyBeth

Happy Birthday, KatyBeth!

On this day, twelve years ago, God answered a bunch of prayers, only a few of which were consciously spoken. He blessed me with a perfectly imperfect child who has taught me more about love, and courage, and resilience, and the power of the human spirit than anyone could ever hope to, a thousand life lessons packed into a few ...

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Reason #3586 My Kid Rocks

We had an important interview in the family today. No, not my interview. Mine was back in early October, and I rocked the interview and got the job, which they promptly eliminated before I could even start. Meh, such is life. But today was KatyBeth's district-wide interview for the Student of the Year competition. Candidates had to write a personal ...

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Robert Brown, February 17, 1966 – September 4, 2013

Damn you, cancer. Damn you all to hell. You took a good man from us, long before his time. This man was more than just a teacher and PE coach. He was a physical therapist, mentor, guide, role model, disciplinarian, motivator and protector to my daughter. He picked her up when she fell, and did his best to teach her ...

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Overheard On The Way To School

Listening to Andy McKee on the way to school: KatyBeth: “I love this song.” AD: “Me too. It’s a beautiful song.” KatyBeth: “I’ll bet his dad was blown away by that song.” AD: “Oh, I’m sure he was.” KatyBeth: “And all I did was make you a stupid birdhouse for Father’s Day.” AD: “The birdhouse was not stupid. The birdhouse ...

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No Longer Cool

I should have seen it coming, really. At home, I'm still Dad. I'm the guy she comes to when she needs help, the guy she likes to hang out with, the guy whose approval she craves. As long as it's just us, watching Princess Bride or going shooting or playing out on the lake, it's all good. But when she's ...

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Overheard at the Food Court

KatyBeth: “Ugh. Boys are such pigs.” Me: “There will come a time when you won’t think so, sweetie.” KB: “Oh no, there won’t! They eat like pigs, and behave like pigs. It’s disgusting.” Me: “Sometimes you eat like a pig too, Miss I Don’t Close My Mouth When I Chew.” KB: “Yeah, but when I do it, it’s just a ...

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Hey, Joe Biden?

Here’s a couple of 10-year-old girls with one of those scary AR15 rifles that are too complex for women to operate: For a weapon too complex for women to operate, they were certainly having fun perforating Coke* cans with it, and doing so safely. I’d have given them a double-barreled shotgun to learn with, but it kicks too much for ...

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Tin Can Assassin*

The child had grown a bit disenchanted with shooting the past couple years. Between her attempts to compensate for her weak eye and the lucky fin, it was difficult to hit the target without a lot of help. And she’s smart enough to know when Daddy is doing most of the work, and proud enough to be insulted by it. ...

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Overheard On The Way To School

Me: "If you don't cheer up, I'm going to get out of the truck when we get to school, and do Gangnam Style right there in the parking lot, in my pajamas, in front of all your friends." KatyBeth (giggling): "You would not!" Me: "Don't think so? Just try me." KatyBeth: "Okay, okay, I'm smiling. Just please don't embarass me ...

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It May Be Black Friday To The Rest Of You…

… but to me it's a day to rejoice. On this day, 10 years ago, fear gnawed at my heart. My wife was being prepped for emergency surgery, while I knelt at an altar in a chapel three floors below, begging for the life of my child. My Valentine's Day baby was being taken before Thanksgiving, for the doctors felt ...

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Reason #8,675 My Kid Kicks Nine Kinds of Ass

My mind never really ran to numbers. In math class, I understood the concepts readily enough. I'd just get bored easily, and make careless errors. I was that weird kid in class who actually liked the word problems. Those always made more sense to me. I made A's in organic chemistry in college, yet struggled to pull a B in ...

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Bragging

Got KatyBeth's first report card of the year today: English: 99 Reading: 100 Science: 98 Math: 85 PE: Satisfactory Guess which one she was worried I'd be mad about? According to her teacher, the math score was due to one bad grade on a district-wide common assessment test that couldn't be dropped, and the only reason she failed that one ...

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Parental Advisory* Lyrics

Of all the songs on my iPhone, there's a select few that always make KatyBeth channel Tipper Gore. Whenever I play Cee Lo Green's "F*ck You," or Pink's "F*ckin' Perfect," she will gasp in horror, blush like a tomato, and clap her hands over her ears until the song is over, whereupon she admonishes me for listening to such trash. ...

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Overheard In the Tactical Tacoma

On the way home from KatyBeth's school this afternoon:   Ambulance Driver (windows down, stereo cranked up, rocking to Prince): "Puuuurple rain, puuuurrrrrple raaaaai – iaaaaiiinnn, only want to see you underneath the puuuuurrple rain…" KatyBeth (not as enthusiastic, but still diggin' it): "Honey I know, I know times are changin', it's time we all reach out for something new…" ...

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