The "They Think We're Stupid" Files

Dear LERN, You Suck

For the first 16 years of my career, Louisiana didn't have a comprehensive trauma system. I sure miss those days. Up until a couple of years ago, we labored under a fragmented and inefficient system of competing hospitals offering varying levels of care. There were only two Level I Trauma Centers, situated in Shreveport and New Orleans – opposite corners ...

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Just a Little Note For The Rookies

My buddy Jeff Brosius once gave what may be the shortest Trauma Activation ever: "One street pizza with pulses. Five minutes. Be ready." While at first glance that seems flippant, while the medic is busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger trying to keep the patient alive, those nine words do everything a pre-arrival notification is supposed to do: the ED ...

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But, But… It’s For Your Own Good!

Ah, the petty tyrannies of local governments and the creep of incrementalism. I think what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Statistically, you're much more likely to contract HIV if you have unprotected anal sex with gay Haitian IV heroin abusers. So why don't we require ol' Dave Byron to submit to HIV and STD testing, monthly drug testing, and tap his phones to see if knows any gays or Haitians? After all, he's a public servant, too. Why should he have any expectation of privacy?

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Too Little, Too Late

I'm glad that NAEMT is out there diligently representing my interests, a full three months after the May 15 deadline that FICEMS imposed for stakeholers to offer their input. I appreciate the sentiment, really, but that does about as much good as plastering a Ron Paul bumper sticker on your car six months after Obama took the oath of office.

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And She Gets a 2.5 From The East German Judge!

I think the next seizure faker I get, I'm going to gather the EMS crews and ED staff around to hold up little score cards for when she comes out of her "seizure." (wink wink, nudge nudge) Only problem is, no one has yet devised a scoring system. Should there be compulsory elements, like in figure skating? Maybe we could ...

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New Poll Up!

This one poses the Question of the Week: Is Ambulance Driver a Misogynist? First, read this post and the comment of Carolyn M. for the context. Then, check out the left sidebar and take the poll! I'll be out back practicing my caveman routine and dragging my woman around by the hair…

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Quote of the Day: Operation Fast and Furious

From Mark Steyn in Nation Review Online: "So, in case you’re wondering why Obama’s second annual Recovery Summer is a wee bit sluggish at your end, relax: Stimulus dollars went to fund one federal agency to buy guns for the paid informants of another federal agency to funnel to foreign criminals in order that the first federal agency might identify ...

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He’s a Witch! Burn Him!

Caretic [noun; care-i-tik] Def: One who unapologetically defies dogma, conventional wisdom and poorly written protocols to provide quality patient care. Often confused with heretic, by the same people who unquestioningly propagate dogma, blindly accept conventional wisdom, and write stupid protocols.

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Apparently, Mayhem is a Family Affair

Just worked a call where a small businessman, long known by the local constabulary as a purveyor of recreational pharmaceuticals, was stabbed by parties unknown. I say "parties unknown" based upon the victim's testimony, despite all indications that his girlfriend was the guilty party. She, however, steadfastly insists that she ain't seen nuthin', no doubt because her attention was focused ...

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