You Know He’s a Frequent Flier* When:

You arrive on the scene for the unconscious male lying in the roadway, cruise slowly past the police cars blocking traffic, and without even getting out of your ambulance, you roll down the window and bark, “Leon! Get your ignorant ass outta the road! Someone runs over you, you might damage a perfectly good car!”

And not only does Leon obediently cease being an impediment to traffic flow, he also hobbles meekly to your ambulance and climbs aboard. You should have seen the face of the cops who called us.

Yes, Leon is a patient we transport all the time, and yes, that’s exactly how the call went down.

And no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him that about 220 grains of Trepanazine wouldn’t fix.

*Of course, The Borg frowns on us referring to such people as frequent fliers. Rather, they’re valued repeat customers, which everyone knows are the foundation to a successful business.

Browse by Category