Best Blonde Joke. Evar.

Saw a familiar face at a scene just now, a cop I had worked with back in the old home town. We got to reminiscing, and he mentioned that he was headed home this weekend to visit his kin in Bienville Parish.

This brought to mind an episode back in ancient times when I was still a student Ambulance Driver, and I took a young lady I fancied on a date in rural Bienville Parish. We browsed the booths at Bonnie and Clyde Trade Days, a large flea market in the area, had ourselves a picnic lunch, and climbed Driskill Mountain, the highest point in Louisiana.

On the way home, I took her through Gibsland, and we posed for a few snapshots at the Bonnie and Clyde ambush site.

Now, let’s just say I wasn’t dating the girl for her smarts or for her voluminous knowledge of history. She barely understood that Clyde Barrow didn’t turn from a life of crime and become a famous movie star.

So I told her the story of legendary Texas Ranger Frank Hamer, the man who led the manhunt for Bonnie and Clyde, and who orchestrated the ambush that happened on that very spot. Told her how, in colorful detail, Hamer’s posse opened up on them with BARs, riddling the bodies with so many bullet holes that the undertaker had a difficult time embalming them because their bodies wouldn’t hold embalming fluid.

My date listened with rapt attention, no doubt smitten not only with my rakish charm and rugged good looks, but also my knowledge of local history.

And then, she walked over to the granite monument, ran her fingers over its bullet-pocked surface, and breathed wonderingly, “Whoooaaaa, it’s still got bullet holes in it!”

*blink, blink*

“Uh, honey, the monument wasn’t here when the ambush happened.”

“It wasn’t? But it’s got bullet holes in it! Besides, how did Bonnie and Clyde know to pull over if the marker wasn’t here?”

“Sweetie, I wasn’t there, but I think that if, on May 22, 1934,  Clyde had pulled over next to a granite marker bearing the inscription, ‘On this site, May 22, 1934, Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker were killed by law enforcement officers,’ he’d have been damned suspicious something was up.”

I’ll give you one guess as to my date’s hair color.*

* The clue’s right there in the title, for you blondes reading this. 😉