Happy Elvis Day!

On today’s date, 1977, Elvis Presley died trying to grunt up a big one.

To celebrate the day, dope yourself up with handfuls of prescription narcotics, get terribly constipated because of it, and strain yourself right on into cardiac arrest trying to expel that big one that keeps prairie-dogging your anal sphincter.

You know, just like the King of Rock ‘n Roll, baby.

And now you know why paramedics call the cardiac-arrest-on-the-toilet calls “doing the Elvis.”

[/Elvis sneer]