You’re Doing It Wrong

Drinking Protip: If you’re at the keg party, and the instructions you’re given for getting really, really drunk, really, really fast, begin with the phrase, “Take your pants off and lay down on your stomach…”

… just say no.

You kids these days with your hula hoops and your Davy Crockett hats and your rock and roll music and your red wine enemas…

In my day, we used to lay on our backs, and put the beer funnel in our mouths.

And by God, we were drunk grateful.