Ripped Straight From The Irony Files

Conversation from an hour ago:

Patient (alternating breaths from her hand-held nebulizer with drags from her cigarette): "I… can't… figure out… *pant pant*… why I… can't… catch… my… breath!"

Ambulance Driver: "Ummm, I might have a couple of clues, but I doubt you'd understand either of them."

She couldn't breathe, so she took her albuterol nebulizer, which made her a little anxious and tachycardic…

… so she smoked a few cigarettes to calm her nerves.

Something tells me that a lecture on the pathophysiology of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, healthy lifestyle choices and smoking cessation would have been, if you'll pardon the pun, wasted breath.