Verbatim Patient Report From Tonight:

Ambulance Driver: "Heya, Mercy General. This is AD on Borg Cube 387, 5 minutes out with Patient X, who is apparently suffering from, well… let's call it acute exacerbation of chronic Patient X-ness."

ED Nurse (sighing): "So she's drunk and fighting with her boyfriend again? What is it this time, abdominal pain or demonic possession?"

AD: "Not really sure, haven't determined if I'm talking to Patient X or the demon."

ED Nurse: "Straight to triage upon arrival, AD."

AD: "Roger that, straight to triage for exorcism via fluorescent light therapy. See you in five."