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Public Service Announcement

If you are 25 years old, with no appreciable health history…

… and you’ve been sleeping in an awkward position for several hours…

… and the limb you’ve been sleeping on is numb and tingling when you finally awake…

you are not having a stroke.

You most certainly are an idiot, and quite possibly a candidate for forced sterilization to prevent you from further contaminating the gene pool and raising a passel of mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, booger-eating cretins that bear a strong familial resemblance to yourself…

… but you are not having a stroke.

Although now I am.

Comments - Add Yours

  • Ernie Sharp

    AD_ I’m wondering of you can help me out. I have a former student that is currently in a PM to RN bridge program at a local college, and recently was failed on an exam for stating that lasix should not be given to patients with pneumonia. The nurse in charge of this program has a distinct dislike for paramedics, and is telling him that he thinks like a medic, and that he will fail out of the program if cannot produce proof that he is correct. She will not accept any sources that are from EMS, like JEMS. He came to me for help.

    I have searched Medline, and can’t find anything. Are you aware of any sources that would indicate that diuretic administration for treatment of pneumonia is in appropriate?

    • Ambulance_Driver

      Yep, go look to EMS and look at my article, “Is Furosemide On The Way Out?”
      I cite a number if articles that show the deleterious effects of Lasix.

      Kelly Grayson

  • ZerCool

    Give him the Cinci test, declare him a possible CVA, and expedite transport to the nearest stroke center. … Wait, this is one of those welfa^H^H^H^H^H Medicaid patients, isn’t it? Nevermind. Slap the shit out of him and take the signoff.

  • Promedic92

    But….But….But he could be having a seizure! The only sure way to know is to ask him if he has been shaky! If he holds his arms up and shakes them then any plum fool can see he’s “having a seizure, and shud go to them hosptal”. Usually a heavy dose of normalasaline works wonders.

  • Promedic92

    Oh btw, the drug I referanced is pronounced ….: “norm-ass-aline” — normal dosage of 5-10 cc “flush” but can be given in drip form ranging from tko (to keep the vein open) to a wide open rate. no real side effects however I have had one or two pts. tell me they are allergic to it.

  • Promedic92

    Wow, you can tell its to early for me …… referenced is the word I butchered and Normassaline is how you spell normassaline. Sorry :)

  • Red

    How about a 16 y/o girl who called because her leg went numb after sitting cross-legged for too long? Yah, stupid is our job security.

  • hg

    Apparently bad parenting is an emergency now too. We went on a call yesterday for a “combative male” which turned out to be an 8 year old kid who had been fighting with his 5 year old brother. Mom wanted him seen in the ER for a psych consult and if that’s not bad enough, she called the day before for the same thing! 

    • Mulligan

       did you take the mom in for a psych consult?