Sumdood Sighting

Dear Patient,

I realize your jaw has been broken eleven times, mainly because you’ve told me so all the way to the hospital.

And I’m sure you’re convinced this is the twelfth time, but judging from how many times you forgot all about the excruciating pain you’re supposedly experiencing and managed to articulate lengthy sentences perfectly well, I remain skeptical.

And I’m sure you were just sitting there in your car, minding your own business, reading the Bible and drinking a wholesome glass of milk, when all of a sudden and for NO reason, Sumdood just drug you from your car and pummeled you mercilessly…

… but I’d reexamine my life choices if I were you. Apparently, sitting around minding your own business hasn’t worked out well for you the past eleven times.

You should mix it up a bit, dude. Throw some gang signs at the wrong people. Stroll through Bloods territory wearing your favorite blue ensemble.

Take a whizz on Sumdood’s new spinner rims.

Cop a feel of the linebacker’s girlfriend’s ass on the dance floor at the club.

Commit a misdemeanor and make the police chase you for a while.

Spend a relaxing evening tugging on Superman’s cape, pulling the mask off the ole’ Lone Ranger and messin’ around with Jim.

Anything’s gotta work better than what you’ve been doing.

  • scooter

    Amen cuz you know what I do think he will be our job security either way just remember he has been a good boy in the past year

  • landlockedtxn

    Sumdood is back! longtime no see!

  • The Flying Monkey

    Messin’ ’round with Jim. Classic.

  • Old_NFO

    LOL, he comes MY way, he won’t have to worry anymore… Just sayin…

  • mpatk

    Sumdood doesn’t like people quietly reading the Bible and drinking milk? Sumdood is the leader of the Secularist Movement trying to ruin America!!!!1!1!!

    • Ambulance_Driver

      Sumdood is an immortal, evil criminal mastermind bent on destroying civilization as we know it. You can read about his exploits in my left sidebar under Greatest Hits.

  • Geoffrey Horning

    All over this great land, we all have our little quirks, we all have our own demographics, we all have our own version of the special little population. However, sumdood’s are hearty and pervasive and the species has reached the farthest corners of the nation. These guys are everywhere!

  • MSgt B

    Ha Ha. Now that song is stuck in my head. Could be worse.

  • Sigivald

    Why not tug on Superman’s cape?

    I mean, what’s he going to do? Kick your ass?

    Of course not – he’s Superman. He’s far too nice to beat you for tugging on his cape.

  • Too Old To Work

    For some people, it’s just one bad life choice after another. Sooner or later it catches up with them, usually after they’ve passed their stupid DNA along to another generation. Then again, I think of it as job security.

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Kelly Grayson

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