EMS Wisdom #1,436

When dealing with assault victims, perpetrators, or witnesses, assume that everyone involved is lying through their tooth teeth.

Better to be pleasantly surprised that 1 in 1000 times someone tells the truth, than to be disappointed the other 999 times.

Corollary: Whenever someone prefaces a statement with, “Man, I ain’t gonna lie to you…” what follows is utter fabrication, prevarication, obfuscating, evading, fibbing, and just plain friggin’ lying.

Every time.

  • Evyl Robot Michael

    It’s like when someone starts a statement with, “no offense but…” or, “I’m a firm believer in the Second Amendment but…” or when you confront a female friend on an unhealthy relationship she’s becoming entwined in and she defends with, “it’s not like that.” Because that means that IT TOTALLY IS LIKE THAT. There are lots of little ironic clincher phrases that people use without realizing it.

    • Matt G

      “May hand ta Gawd, that’s how it happened.”
      “S’welp me Gawd…”
      “On mah mother’s grave…”

  • Old_NFO

    Heh… Yep!

  • lonemedic

    Hey, give the guy who say Man, I ain’t gonna lie to you. I’m drunk some credit. Ilike that guy. Unless he killed ssomeone else

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