Splattered

Ever feel like you’ve been shot at and missed, but shit at and hit?

Well, it seems I’ve been splattered by the meme too, courtesy of LawDog and Matt G.

*sigh*

I suppose it could have been worse. They could have showed up at my door with an offer to sell Amway. Folks, normally I’m a skeptic. I have Snopes on my favorites list. But being the new kid on the blogosphere playground and desperately wanting to fit in, I will bow to peer pressure and play along.

As the meme goes (tangential thought – what the hell does “meme” MEAN, anyway?):

“share five off the wall, strange, unusual or just little-known facts about yourself. Then you “tag” five other bloggers who are supposed to do the same thing.”

1. Before my career in EMS, I was a professional dog trainer. I learned the craft from my brother as a very young teenager, and he turned the business over to me at age nineteen. I worked more-or-less full time training retrievers for hunting and field trials from age 13 to age 24. I made more money doing that (in the good years, at least) than I ever have in EMS. I miss working with the dogs, but not the owners.

2. I’ve written one book, co-authored another and am working on a third. I speak at EMS conferences around the country. I don’t advertise my identity on my blog, but the clues are there. My posts here are the manifestation of my Id, and sometimes what I say here isn’t appropriate for polite company.

3. I killed the very first critical patient I ever had. Well actually, I didn’t kill him, but I didn’t do him much good either. He was far too unstable and difficult to manage for one paramedic to handle, but fatigue, inexperience and ego got the better of me, and I took the transfer when I shouldn’t have. And he still visits me in my dreams occasionally, even 13 years later. But at least I’ve made friends with his ghost.

4. In my late teens and early twenties, I could toss an aspirin into the air and powder it with a pellet gun maybe 8 times out of 10. I’m also a fair shot with a handgun or rifle, but nothing spectacular. But I still win my fair share of wagers with people who think skill with a shotgun and precision shooting are mutually exclusive. It’s nice to be underestimated. 😉

5. I am one of those “integrated brain” people that uses their right brain and left brain to complement each other. I have a measured IQ of 152 and despite all that, am still the most math phobic dude you will ever meet. I sit in math class and understand the concepts and work the problems…but I find it so insanely boring that I’ve never gotten better than a C in any math course I’ve ever taken. Every other subject always came so easily to me that I never developed the academic discipline needed to excel in math. It’s a big part of the reason the name of this blog isn’t called A Day In The Life Of An Emergency Physician.

6. Once while duck hunting, I killed a pair of black ducks with my waders at half-mast and a turd hanging out of my ass. Always bring your gun with you on the potty breaks, boys and girls.

Okay, maybe that last one was an overshare. Shoulda stopped at 5. *grin*

So now it’s my turn to fling the shitball at:

Flying Flo
The Hammer (You have to visit his blog. He’s funnier than a snort of nitrous oxide)
Rocky Mountain Medic (Who just joined a select EMS fraternity)
Holly
Mr. Fixit

Cheer up, guys. I could have been offering to get you in on my Amway deal.

Until next time…