Panicky Mother Syndrome

Mother: “She was crying real bad and stopped breathing like four times and I don’t mean just lost her breath I mean stopped breathing and her whole face turned purple then I blew in her face and she started again and I put her in the tub and her left foot turned real red and then it turned blue and she broke out in a rash over her whole body and I think she’s having an allergic reaction to her formula and…”

Ambulance Driver (holding pink, beautiful 2-month-old girl busily sucking her fist): “This is your first baby, isn’t it?”

Mother: “Yeah, how did you know?”

Ambulance Driver: “Lucky guess.”