The White Cloud Is Powerful With This One

From the comments section of a shift report I just completed, precepting a newly-hired medic:

Employee appears to be a pleasant, well-groomed individual who projects a professional and calm demeanor. Due to the slowness of the shift, I was unable to evaluate employee on his clinical skills, but we did enjoy a scenic tour of the tri-parish area, in which we investigated the mysteries of a number of ambulance station couches. I can safely say that employee is now familiar with at least the convenience stores in our parish who provide clean bathrooms and free coffee refills to EMS personnel.

I will say that in my observation of the employee, he does display a number of vital paramedic skills, such as being able to sip coffee in a moving ambulance without spilling on his uniform shirt, bogarting the best pillow at the ambulance station, and a truly impressive repertoire of snores, gurgles and snorts. His television remote skills and channel choices I would grade as superior, and on a par with medics of far more seniority and street experience.

In our one call of the evening, he was able to pick out a really suh-weet systolic murmur in an elderly patient with a history of aortic stenosis. Unfortunately, she was totally asymptomatic by the time we arrived at her bedside. She refused care and transport, despite his diligent attempts to convince her to consent to a hospital trip, thereby assuring the continued profitability of our company. Clearly, he possesses the tools to be a model employee, and I look forward to precepting him in future shifts.

Especially if they’re like this one.

It’s not a LawDog shift summation, but I do try.