To all the folks in Omaha, NE and Sioux City, IA…

I apologize for the weather. But fear not, now that Mother Nature has figured out I’m not coming, she’ll lighten up on you soon. Expect balmy temperatures and blue skies within the week.

I swear, every time I’m scheduled to speak at an EMS conference, bad weather follows me like the plague. Last October, I stayed just ahead of torrential downpours all the way from Houston to northern New Hampshire, even though it took me three missed flights, an alternate airport, a three hour car drive and an oxcart ride to the top of a mountain to make it to my destination.

Before that, it was torrential rains in Atlanta that threatened to keep me from getting to Myrtle Beach.

And before that, it was 103 degree temperatures for 3 days straight in Midlothian, Texas at EMStock. Those folks still haven’t recovered.

But this time takes the cake. Mother Nature shuts down most of the Midwest in a blizzard and forces the nice folks in Sioux City to cancel their EMS conference for the first time in 20+ years, for the very first time they booked me to speak.

A coincidence? I think not. The bitch still hasn’t forgiven me for that Chiffon margarine thing from years ago, and now she’s just being vindictive.

But fear not, folks…next time I’m invited to the Midwest, I’ll try to take the circuitous route and throw her off.