Overheard In The ER

The scene: Ambulance Driver has just delivered his overdose patient to the hospital, and patiently waits outside the ER for his partner to finish her cigarette. A hospital security guard enters, stage left.

Guard (approaching a woman wearing a hospital gown and a nasal oxygen cannula): “Excuse me, Ma’am. What is your name?”

Leathery chain smoking lady: “M. Fizeema Laydee. Why you wanna know?”

Guard: “Your nurse says to come back upstairs for your breathing treatment, Ma’am.”

Leathery chain smoking lady (sucking her cigarette down to the filter in one long drag): “About damned time. I’ve been needing a breathing treatment.”

I and future generations of EMTs thank you, M. Fizeema Laydee, for the job security. And that goes for you too, Temporary Partner.