And the newbie prayed, "Please, Flying Spaghetti Monster, reach down and touch me with your noodly appendage, bless me and send me to Las Vegas for EMS World Expo…"
… and a small voice in his head said, "You know, Confessions of an EMS Newbie is having an essay contest. First prize is a trip to Vegas, and the chance to meet Ron Davis and Kelly Grayson and appear on their podcast. You even get to follow Dr. Bryan Bledsoe around for a shift in the Emergency Department. Maybe you could win that!"
… and the newbie exulted, and said, "Oh, that would be SWELL! Please, please, PLEASE let me win that essay contest! In FSM's name I pray, Amen."
… and that same voice said, louder this time, "I mean, winning that contest would pay all your expenses except food, booze and hookers. EMS World will cover the conference registration, Cielo Azul will provide your lodging, and Emergency Training Associates will cover your airfare. You'd be all set! And the second and third place prizes are pretty schweet, too!"
… and the newbie nodded fervently, head bowed, and said, "I know! I'm praying! Pleeeeease let me win that essay contest!"
… and the voice, which may have been FSM but sounded suspiciously like Ambulance Driver, said impatiently, "Dude, at least meet me half way. Write a friggin' essay!"
Submission deadline is in 12 hours, people. Get your essays in!