Dear TSA…

… you are all a bunch of booger-eating, mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging cretins with a collective double-digit IQ.

I don’t care what your drafted-by-an-illiterate-idiot regulations say, a rifle scope is not a firearm part. It is an optical instrument, functionally no different than a camera or a telephoto lens.

What the hell am I going to do with the thing that could possibly endanger passengers? Look in your ears through it to see if I can spot that one lonely little brain cell?

And Shanequia the x-ray screener who totally lost her shit when she spotted the scope in my carry-on, I hope the TSA fires you and you have to go back to your job at Wendy’s, fucking up everyone’s drive-through orders.

I guess I shouldn’t have expected better of a government jobs program for people who couldn’t meet the academic standards of the Wal Mart Greeter Academy.

  • Sean Murphy

    Please don’t insult the booger-eating, mouth-breating, knuckle-dragging cretins. They’re much smarter than the TSA.
    Also, I think you give the TSA too much credit with that double-digit IQ. I mean 10 is a stretch…

  • Scott Kenny

    Please don’t tell me that they confiscated your new ‘scope!

  • George

    But, but, it has scary crosshairs!

  • Geoffrey Horning

    Yep, as much as I fly, you’d have thought I’d be used to it by now, but nope…surprises me to new lows every time.

  • DJMoore

    AD, calm down. I’m sure this was entirely in accordance with procedure, which, Blogger Bob would be quick to add, is in no way whatsoever the same as “just following orders”.

    I, too, hope they didn’t simply rob you of your scope.

  • Awelowynt

    You forgot window-licking.

  • BigPete

    Ah yes – the wonderful world of ignorance and stupidity that are the “Carry on” laws. Drafted by people who live in fairytale land and enforced by trained speaking potato sacks! I saw a lady have a 75mm nail file confiscated once, and another time I watched them “seize” some nail clippers! Personally I think if you are that dedicated to be able to get control of a plane with nail clippers you deserve the bloody thing! It’s nearly as bad as my countries importation laws. As well you know I purchased a custom bolt for a rifle from the US but it was seized at the border and impounded as a “dangerous explosive item” and had to be cleared by Army Ordnance, then Customs. I got several very rude and threatening letters from various departments, had to get an importation permit and show cause why it shouldn’t be destroyed. It was a 5 inch piece of hardened steel – that’s it. No bolt face, no firing pin, just a bolt body & handle. Perhaps if they hired people with at least a minute ammount of firearms knowledge it might actually make live both easier & safer for people!

    • Ambulance_Driver

      What is annoying is that I have managed to pass through TSA checkpoints THREE times with a knife either on my person or in my carry-on.
      I feel SO safe.

    • Matt G

      Worse– those ARE NOT LAWS! They are regulations that have the FORCE OF LAW. They are not reviews by any elected official. They are not voted on. “Is crime, because we say is crime.”

  • Old_NFO

    Truly sorry about that AD…

  • http://www.facebook.com/hank.blake Hank Blake

    Ahhh, fuck.

  • obiwandreas

    It is a part for a firearm. So are screws. I guess you can’t carry anything containing screws either.

  • Reagan Conservative

    AD
    Please tell us how you really feel about the TSA

  • John S

    Umm, did the scope get on the plane with you?

  • MSgt B

    Damn. I hope that baby shows up on E-bay soon.
    I need a new one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/adam.johansson.739 Adam Johansson

    I had a fuqtard at MSP try to tell me I could not pack SPENT BRASS in my checked (yes, checked, not carry-on) luggage because it was hazardous or explosive. Goddamn, I hate the TSA.

  • Jennifer

    Wow. Don’t they specifically recommend that you put items that can be damaged by the rough treatment of checked baggage, like OPTICAL EQUIPMENT in your carry-on? For those without critical thinking skills anything you can attach to a gun must somehow be as dangerous as the gun itself.

    My husband flew to Arizona for work, he forgot to take sunscreen, so he bought some down there and put it in his carry on for the return trip, not thinking about it (it was over the 3 oz limit). The TSA guy who searched his bag was SO PROUD of himself for finding that banned item. He may have gotten snippy with ‘Barney Fife’ and congratulated him for confiscating that terribly dangerous item, who knows what would have happened if it had made it on the plane!

    • Captain Hindsight

      Yeah. I would have just turned the sunscreen bottle upside down, and emptied all but 3oz onto his desk. Then pointed out that it was now safe under his silly rules. But then, I’m a troublemaker.

    • markm

      They also think a picture of a gun is as dangerous as a gun…

  • mr618

    Sounds much like the “Cupcake of Mass Destruction” incident at McCarran in Vegas back in January: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2011/12/security-theater-tsa-confiscates-womans-frosted-cupcake/
    For a really good time, google “cupcakegate”

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