Humor

It was often said that I had no brakes on my Dare Car, and today’s shopping trip proved it. I was browsing the maternity section at Lane Bryant, and not for clothes for Mary. Thus far, Operation Impregnation had produced zero results, but I vowed to soldier on and do my part in the procreation process no matter how many ...

… there’s a new column up on EMS1. Top 10 Events That Should Be in the EMS Winter Olympics   Enjoy!  

Clever ad placement, Daniel Defense.

… there’s a new column on EMS1. It seems that Detroit Fire Department EMS is starting a community paramedicine program. Enjoy.

From the comments section of a shift report I just completed, precepting a newly-hired medic: Employee appears to be a pleasant, well-groomed individual who projects a professional and calm demeanor. Due to the slowness of the shift, I was unable to evaluate employee on his clinical skills, but we did enjoy a scenic tour of the tri-parish area, in which ...

… there’s a new column on EMS1. The Stupid EMS Cliché Usage Guide Drop by, comment, and get your cliché on.

Chatting on the phone with my sweetheart last night, about fifteen minutes into the call, I absentmindedly picked up a folded piece of paper on the ambulance dashboard. It was one of our old refusal of care forms, with a patient’s demographic information jotted on it. On the other side, printed in 3-inch block letters, were the words, “SAVE ME.” ...

Patient: “So I was sleeping on the couch, and I just woke up, and my pants were on fire!” AD: “Uh huh. And how did the rest of the garage catch on fire?” Patient: “I, um, might have turned over some paint thinner and stuff while I was trying to put my pants out.” Skinny: “Do you smoke, sir?” Patient ...

That’s why this is so good. Word.

Text conversation from a few minutes ago: Epijunky:“A simple nasal cannula at 15 lpm applied by your partner in addition…” AD: “Heh, you’re reading my apneic oxygenation article on EMS1?” Epijunky: “Actually, the one in EMS World Magazine about how an EMT can save the medic’s ass.” AD: “Either one is a wise choice. Consider me your fount of paramedical-type ...

… a new story on EMS1. DC Fire EMS finds a way to upgrade its ambulance fleet.

I should have seen it coming, really. At home, I'm still Dad. I'm the guy she comes to when she needs help, the guy she likes to hang out with, the guy whose approval she craves. As long as it's just us, watching Princess Bride or going shooting or playing out on the lake, it's all good. But when she's ...

AD (reading directly from dispatch notes on our data terminal): “Patient is a 34-year-old female who swallowed a handful of Flintstones vitamins, and now feels as if some of them are stuck in her throat.” Partner: “How ironic it would be to choke to death on vitamins…” AD (continuing): “Patient states she is no longer choking but her throat is ...

Gas station clerk: “He’s drunk, and trespassing. When I asked him to leave, he made like he was going to sit on one of the concrete pump barriers, pretended to fall off of it, and now he won’t stop screaming.” AD: “What’s your name, sir?” Patient:“AAAUGH! AAAARGH! WOOOO! GAWD HAVE MERCY!” AD: “Luther, is that you?” Patient (nodding) “WAAUGH! LAWDY ...

My buddy Jeff B comes up with a fine idea. Now, how can we pitch this to the networks?