Recipe For Marital Discord

First, gather all your ingredients: alcohol, one common redneck with previous DUI convictions, a minor stepchild he is responsible for, an equally soused brother-in-law, and just a smidgen of personal responsibility.

And I do mean smidgen. Just the barest fucking pinch of doing the right thing, so that only the most sensitive of palates would notice the presence of that particular ingredient.

Next, set your minor stepchild aside, and mix all other ingredients in a Super Bowl (party). Let soak until both adults are suitably pickled. Add in the minor stepchild.

Filter ingredients through a strainer until all of the personal responsibility is removed. Leave these at the party. Pour all remaining ingredients into a car. Roll into a ball of shattered glass and twisted metal.

Flee the scene, and leave your minor stepchild and brother-in-law cooling in the wreck.

You better hope the sheriff’s deputies find you before your wife does, you cowardly, loathsome bastard. I think she’s got “till death do us part” on her mind.