Ambulance Driver: "Um, the guy going back to Decubitus Acres?"
Nurse:. "Y'all are here to pick him up? Great! We've been waiting for hours!"
AD: "Y'all said he met stretcher criteria."
Nurse: "He does. Postural instability and quadriparesis. He can't sit in a wheelchair."
AD: "Riiiiight. Well, right now he's walking around the room naked, and he just pissed in the sink."
Nurse (crestfallen): "Oh. Does that mean y'all are not going to take him?"
AD: "Nice try."