EMS System Abuse

Overheard On The Bolance

Dispatch Drone: "Head quarters to Borg Cube 69." Ambulance Driver: "Go for 69." DD: "69, we need you to respond to Fydallo Ho Expressway eastbound near the Chili's, red Chevy Silverado pickup pulled over in the emergency lane with his hazard lights on. 38-year-old male with a spider bite." [sounds of AD banging his head against the dash] AD: "Aaahhh, ...

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EMS Axiom #54: Inverse Rule of Bullshit History

The longer and more convoluted the patient history leading up to the traumatic event, the more trivial the injury, and the shorter the patient's ED stay will be. Example: If your patient has been stabbed, and when asked, "So dude, show me where you're hurt," replies with a windy narrative that begins five years ago about his ex-girlfriend's cousin Mookie ...

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