Well, That Depends…

…does the ball have a hole in it?*

More importantly, do you and the ball share a mutual love and respect for one another? Are you willing to commit to a monogamous relationship with this ball?

Remember, that’s a big step. No more gazing longingly at the ball pit at McDonald’s Playland. You can’t play the field anymore. Or the court, for that matter, if someone else is playing. You must be immune to the charms of all other balls.

Balls get jealous when you show a wandering eye. That’s just the way they roll. Let ’em get the idea that they’re not the only one, and they’ll bounce. So you gotta stay strong, and avoid places like bowling alleys. Remain faithful to your One True Ball…

…Even if, after a while, she starts looking and acting like tetherball, and you’re tempted to append “and chain” when referring to her.

But sure, if you’re willing to take that step, you can still have sex with just one ball. And your sex life can still be just as exciting, presuming you meet the right ball.

I mean, if it were, say, a bowling ball…presumably one could invite two close friends to join in. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

Now if it were a wiffle ball, and you both swing that way…

…nope, not gonna go there.


*Yes, I’m going straight to hell.