Overheard On The Bolance

On scene at Bird of Peace Trailer Park*:

Deputy 1: “Yeah, they’re both going to jail for domestic assault.”

Deputy 2: “Even the girl?”

Deputy 1: “Yeah, wouldn’t cooperate with me and tell me what happened. Tried to tell her I wasn’t interested in her shitty quarter-ounce of weed, but all she kept hollering was, ‘Fuck it, y’all taking me to jail anyways!’ so…”

Deputy 2 (shrugging): “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

Deputy 1: “Say, y’all got any hand sanitizer in y’all’s rig? I got all up in the middle of this crap before I realized both of them were bleeding, and now I probably got the gonnoherpesyphilaids all over my hands.”

AD: “Inside the back doors, left hand wall by the stretcher mount. Fortifed with twelve essential emollients and moisturizers, just for you.”

Deputy 1: “Who cares, as long as it disinfects?”

Skinny: “Come on, man. You wanna go out there fighting crime with dry, calloused hands?”

*Hand to God, that’s the actual name of the place.

  • dixie

    You might have met your match with Skinny. I think I’m gonna like this one.

  • Old_NFO

    That’s a good one!

  • Wandering Neurons

    +1 to Skinny for his quick response. Sharp kid.

  • Too Old To Work

    Cops around here used to like to poor rubbing alcohol on their hands. Considering what the people they touch are like, some of them probably wish they could burn the top layers of skin off their hands.

    Much of the time when I put gloves on I’m not worried about blood born pathogens I’m worried about stuff that science hasn’t developed a name for yet.

  • mr618

    “Gonnoherpesyphilaids” ?!? Now, you just KNOW I’m stealing that.
    How do the fine folks at PGHNSTRACH define the ailment? (And what does that stand for again?)

    • Ambulance_Driver

      Podunk General Hospital, Nail Salon, Tire Repair and Crawfish Hut.

      And they define it as “cooties.”

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