Overheard On The Bolance

On scene at Bird of Peace Trailer Park*:

Deputy 1: “Yeah, they’re both going to jail for domestic assault.”

Deputy 2: “Even the girl?”

Deputy 1: “Yeah, wouldn’t cooperate with me and tell me what happened. Tried to tell her I wasn’t interested in her shitty quarter-ounce of weed, but all she kept hollering was, ‘Fuck it, y’all taking me to jail anyways!’ so…”

Deputy 2 (shrugging): “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

Deputy 1: “Say, y’all got any hand sanitizer in y’all’s rig? I got all up in the middle of this crap before I realized both of them were bleeding, and now I probably got the gonnoherpesyphilaids all over my hands.”

AD: “Inside the back doors, left hand wall by the stretcher mount. Fortifed with twelve essential emollients and moisturizers, just for you.”

Deputy 1: “Who cares, as long as it disinfects?”

Skinny: “Come on, man. You wanna go out there fighting crime with dry, calloused hands?”

*Hand to God, that’s the actual name of the place.