Overheard In The ED

While prepping a patient for transport:

ED Nurse: “Oh, by the way, the doc wants IV fluids on that guy we’re transferring across town.”

AD: “Just IV fluids? Is he hypotensive?”

ED Nurse: “Nope, rock solid stable. KVO would probably be fine.”

AD (speaking in my best “Do you realize how silly that sounds?” voice): “You want fluids dripping at 30 ml/hr, for a trip that takes five minutes. To a hospital that will only swap out the fluids and tubing for their own stuff anyway.”

ED Doc: “Now that I think about it, make it a 500 ml bolus, then 125 ml/hr.”

AD (sighing): “You got it, Doc. If I can get 500 through that 20 gauge in his hand in the next five minutes, I’ll switch him to 125 ml/hr as I’m unloading him at the hospital five minutes away. The one with IV pumps incompatible with your tubing.”

ED Doc (the sarcasm sailing ten feet over his head): “Perfect, thanks!”

And to put the stupidity cherry on the pointless sundae, the damned IV wasn’t even patent anyway.