Ambulance Driver Files A Day in the Life | Kelly Grayson
…on whether you’re trying to pick up a paramedic, or whether you are the paramedic.
Some of my personal favorites include:
The James Bond Approach: “Driver. Ambulance Driver.”
Complimenting the lady’s appearance: “Heeeyyyy, nice veins.”
The Chicks Are Impressed By Medical Terminology Approach: “Baby, dancing this close with you has stimulated my Meissner’s Corpuscles to the point of extreme engorgement of my corpus cavernosum.”
The Direct Approach: “I drive a big van with a bed in the back.”
The Wounded Hero Approach: “See this mark on my neck? I was bitten by a rat while trying to resuscitate a baby abandoned in a crack house. What’s that? Yeah, I know it looks like a hickey. The rat hung on for a long time.”
Of course, if you’re trying to pick up a paramedic, these work well:
“Hi, I’m Nurse Heather. I make twice the money you do, but I don’t see that as an obstacle to a healthy relationship, do you?”
“Is that a laryngoscope in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?”
“Free food!”
“Psssssst…do THESE look swollen to you?”
“The doctor gave me a clean bill of health! No more chlamydia!”
“Free food!”
“Yes I realize it’s 3:00 am. This is an EMERGENT breast exam.”
“Hi, I’m Flight Nurse Rhonda. Can you help me with the zipper on my flight suit?”
“Free food!”
“I know you did all you could. I knew this would happen; investment banking is a very stressful profession. Yes, he was a good deal older than me. I still can’t believe I’m a widow at age 28! Whatever will I do with this huge house, and the boats and cars? I just feel so…vulnerable.”
Did I mention “free food?”