The 123 Book Meme

Tagged by Expert Witness, and as it seems, I’m the last person in the blogosphere tagged with this one, so I won’t tag anyone else.

The rules of the meme go:

1. Find the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the first five sentences.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five other bloggers.

Okay, the nearest book to hand was enthusiastically endorsed by LawDog, and loaned to me from his personal library.*

It’s a bit hard to read, what with all the dog-eared pages, notes scribbled in the margins, and passages of text highlighted in pink, but here goes…

…damn. Pages 118-123 are stuck together. Page 124 is an illustration that looks like Robert Mapplethorpe has found a career illustrating children’s books. Page 125 is…

…eureka! Okay, the first five sentences are partially obliterated by some sort of stain, but sentences 6-8 read:

“But Grandma, what great, big teeth you have!” breathed Little Red Riding hood, her ample breasts straining against the thin fabric of her bodice.

“All the better to eat you with, my dear!” snarled the Big Bad Wolf lasciviously, as he leapt from the bed, ripped off Grandma’s kerchief and gown and stood there naked, proud and erect.

“Oooh Wolfie,” chuckled Little Red Riding Hood throatily, “I do love it when you talk dirty. But do be a dear and put the gown and kerchief back on, and never break character again, mmmkay?”

The title is MILF Goose’s Adult Fairy Tales, and the cover is illustrated with a goose wearing a leather corset, spanking a woodsman who looks vaguely like Fabio.

Odd, but I don’t remember the fairy tales from my childhood quite this way. But I intend to keep reading to look for further discrepancies, and when I’m done, I’ll fire off a strongly worded letter to Naughty Bitch Press.

*Not really, but I just couldn’t resist the dig at LawDog.

In reality the closest book to hand is Special Ops, by W.E.B Griffin. The applicable sentences on page 123 are:

“Yes, Sir,” Sergeant Thomas said.

“Put your heart in it, Sergeant,” Lunsford said. “We don’t want to keep Lieutenant Portet waiting around, do we?”

“No, Sir,” Sergeant Thomas said, visibly fuming.

Personally, I liked the first version better. 😉