Ambulance Driver’s Aimless Tweets

  • If The Crimson Shade of My Neck Didn’t Give You A Clue…: … I give you the following verbatim .. #
  • Epiphany: When KatyBeth comes to me to change the outfits on her Disney Princesses, it always corresponds to a wardrobe change on the DVD. #
  • Observations From Last Night: 1. Dentistry is best left to the professionals.* I don’t care if that broke.. #
  • Family Tradition: On some nights around Casa de Ambulance Driver, particularly those when the thunder is boomin.. #
  • EMS 2.0: The Wet Blanket Post: It started in a response to Rogue Medic’s reply to an anonymous commenter,.. #
  • When you've been shocking the plethysmograph tracing for 10 minutes, it's time to drop the "skilled" from "skilled nursing facility." #
  • Overheard On The ‘Bolance: Ambulance Driver: “You da man, RP!” Rookie Partner: “No, but.. #
  • Dear dispatcher, if you're going to screw me, buy me dinner first. Or at least spank my ass and tell me what a naughty little medic I am. #
  • Lady, if your kid has oppositional defiant disorder, then I'm a schizophrenic. And the voices in my head say you're a shitty parent. #
  • How Do You Like The New Digs?: Many thanks to Eric Augustus of EMS Haiku for the spiffy new blog banner. Should.. #
  • Remember, kiddies… they're not gomers or frequent fliers. They're valued repeat customers, the foundation of any successful business! #
  • I've got a serious man crush on Drew Brees. If I weren't fervently heterosexual, he'd make me all moist in my undies with every touchdown. #
  • Four more hours, and I'll be home in my beanbag chair, naked and eating Cheetos… #
  • Thanks for the birthday wishes, y'all… although REAL friends would have sent hookers and blow… #

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