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You may be so physically and emotionally drained right now that you don’t realize this, but… … the hard part is over. The cancer is gone, and the dread and uncertainty is over, and the recovery is going to be much less daunting than you imagined. Because ultimately, a small skin graft on your nose doesn’t make you one bit ...

My last patient was carrying a gun. Scary-looking biker type, complete with beard, bandanna and leathers. I saw him hand the state trooper his Louisiana Concealed Handgun Permit along with his driver’s license, just like he’s supposed to. The trooper’s reaction? He asked my patient if he was currently carrying, which my patient answered in the affirmative. “Fair enough,” the ...

Conversation about our last patient: AD: “Seemed like a pretty nice guy.” Partner: “Yeah. Well-groomed, sober, financially stable… not the sort of guy you’d expect to find walking stark naked down a public highway in broad daylight.” AD: “For a lucky few of us, every day is Nekkid Day.”

Driving a stable BLS patient with an injection site reaction to the ED just now: ***sounds of defibrillator charging*** AD: “Um, anything going on back there that I should know about?” EMT Partner: “Nope, nothing to see here. Move along.” AD: “Wrong button, huh?” EP: “Just a little prophylactic defibrillation. Nothing to be concerned about.” AD: “You know, it’s not ...

When you're a drunk Brooklyn prosecutor. Mr. Jaccarino was so drunk, Ms. Walton told Judge Melissa A. Crane, that it would have been difficult to prove that he meant to assault Ms. Soler. She added that if Mr. Jaccarino’s "intoxication was of such an extent and nature to render him incapable of forming the particular criminal intent, then he would ...

Your shooting form needs a little work. Frankly, I'd have expected better, what with you being an avid skeet shooter and ardent Second Amendment supporter and all. But, never fear, Mr. President. I happen to have shouldered a shotgun a few times here and there, and I have this knack for teaching things in terms my student can understand. With ...

Other Ambulance:“Um, Dispatch? Are you sure this is our call? The CAD hit says this is in… uhhh… Booty?” Dispatch: “Stand by, we’re getting multiple hits on that address, one in Local City and the other in Boutte. And that’s pronounced Boo-tay.” Other Ambulance: “Boo-tee, boo-tay, what’s the difference?” AD: “It’s kinda like the difference between par-tee and par-tay.” Other ...

Conversation at a scene just now: Cop: “Says he’s been out of his psych meds for five days.” AD: “… and? That’s not reason alone to go to the ED in an ambulance.” Cop: “He’s also been drinking beer all afternoon, and walked down here to the truck stop to play video poker and watch the Super Bowl, when he ...

Ladies, there’s a surefire way to keep your abusive boyfriend from beating you up a second time. And that way is, shoot the sonofabitch the first time. Grip, front sight, trigger squeeze. Repeat until slide lock. Consider that a helpful relationship tip from your friendly neighborhood Ambulance Driver.

On the Kevin, MD blog, Dr. Wes notes the shift of medical research journals from clinical medicine to politics. “Medical journals aren’t what they used to be. Just ten short years ago, medical journals were places to report scientific study, interesting cases or clinical updates and reviews. They were, for the most part, about science and discovery. Now, there is ...

When you use the restroom in the treatment area of the dialysis center, and find urine on the toilet seat… … the only people that could have put it there are the staff. And all of them are female. And the wastebasket has no used paper towels in it. That kind of squicks me out, honestly.

If you throw down with another patron at a diner where no less than four ON DUTY cops are eating less than ten feet away… … you are a special kind of stupid. Not just ordinary, garden-variety dumbass, mind you. You are an epic, industrial-strength, weapons-grade, illegal in 17 states, how did you ever fucking survive beyond childhood, Velcro shoes ...

Luke 2: 8-14 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you ...

From Caleb at Gun Nuts Media. “Countless studies and real life incidents have proven that the most effective method for dealing with a mass shooter is to shoot them repeatedly in the chest and/or head until they stop shooting at people. A sucking chest wound is nature’s way of telling bad people to rethink their life choices.” Word.

There are times when there is nothing so fine as being an EMT. Delivering a baby, seeing a heart rhythm change from the ugly death scrawl of ventricular fibrillation to a perfusing rhythm, feeling your patient take a breath through the bag-mask that was only moments before providing the life-sustaining oxygen that the patient could not… … those are the ...