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Working with Kelso tonight, and he tells me the tale of a call they ran not long ago. They found a guy passed out on his toilet, gray and clammy, agonal respirations. They slap the pads on him, see he’s in VF, and shock him back to a sinus rhythm. Guy arrests again on the way to the rig, they ...

Transported a little four-year-old boy a little while ago. Cute little guy, big ears and an even bigger gap-toothed grin. He talked a mile a minute, and had zero volume control on his voice. And this dude was a total Forrest Gump movie quote savant. We spent the entire transport trading lines from the movie, and he never missed a ...

Well, after Nitrous moved to a day shift, The Borg saddled me for months with a succession of part-timers, fill-ins, and a couple of brand new EMTs who were somewhat averse to night shifts and personal responsibility. They didn’t last long. The new partner, I have hopes for. A former Marine, he joined the Corps with the goal of being ...

… a repost for you. And if you can hear me, Mom, have a happy Mother's Day. ********** A Love Song For Joyce   There are few things more dismal than an ICU waiting room. People gather in familial clusters, keeping vigil against the specter of death. Books and blankets abound, snacks and cups of stale coffee cluster on tastefully ...

I'll be at the NRA Annual Meeting in Houston from Thursday through Sunday. I'll be picking up TOTWTYTR from the airport at noon, and hopefully we'll get to do a little skeet shooting at American Shooting Center to prepare him for Epic Duck Hunt 2013. Anyone who'd like to join us, just drop me an email here or message me ...

Nursing Home Nurse: “Her lung sounds are really diminished and I can’t get an oxygen saturation on her. She needs to go to the ED for evaluation.” Ambulance Driver: “Howdy, young lady. How you feelin’ tonight?” Patient (pleasantly): “Just fine, young man. I’d really rather go back to sleep than go to the hospital.” NHN (patronizingly): “You have to go ...

After a year as my partner, teaching her, molding her in my likeness, and seeing her become strong in the ways of the Force, Nitrous has moved to a day shift that will allow her more time for family responsibilities. Tonight marks my second shift with my new partner. He’s a pleasant guy, conscientious, seems eager to learn. He’s been ...

NRA Annual Meeting: Who's going? Anybody got plans to get together and cling bitterly to our guns and religion while we're there? TOTWTYTR and I will be there from May 2-6, staying at the Crowne Plaza. Can any of you local types recommend a public range to go shoot some skeet or 5-stand on May 2? Alan? Ron? Shooter? Texas ...

1. You’d think that Easter is supposed to be a PCP-free holiday. You would be wrong. 2. Methamphetamine Acres Trailer Park: Just take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. 3. White trash girls who talk ghetto are far more annoying than black girls who talk ghetto. 4. If your boyfriend has had ...

Earlier this evening in the way to work: AD: “Hey, Soop. I’m gonna be about 20 minutes late for my shift. Got tied up taking my kid to the optometrist.” Supervisor: “That’s what, three tardies for you this year? You’re fired.” AD: “You wish. I haven’t been tardy in over three years.” Supervisor: “Okay, thanks for the heads up. I’ll ...

Semi-intoxicated observations from the road: Nice folks at the Tidewater EMS Expo. Small conference, good staff, eager attendees. The kind of people it's a pleasure to teach. I am a fucking Cornhole assassin, especially if I get a few beers in me.* I am spoiled by Shiner Bock and Nerd Beer. So much so, that if I am forced to ...

Horace Perry Jones spun at 78 rpm in a 33 1/3 world.

At the Nebraska EMS Association spring conference this weekend, while chatting with a few new friends over beers, one medic lamented that his spouse had imposed a “buy one, sell one” restriction for new guns in their household. If he bought a new gun, first he had to sell one of his safe queens that he never shot. Said spouse ...

AD: “Heh. She doesn’t seem delusional and paranoid to me.” Deputy: “Trust me, she is.” AD: “Based on what?” Deputy: “Well, for starters, this isn’t her house. The owner of this house found her this morning hiding in her kitchen cabinets, afraid people were after her.” AD: “Um, yeah. Well. Wow, what do you say to that, ‘Hand me my ...

Our favorite hoplophobe, Lucy Hornstein, the physician who refers to Second Amendment advocates as sociopathic domestic terrorists, has been heard from. In comments on this post, Dr. Hornstein writes: Non-events are wonderful. Too bad they (and concealed carry in general) have nothing to do with 32,000 firearms deaths last year (20,000 suicides). You sound like the folks who refuse flu ...