It’s having conversations like this: Rookie Partner: “The chick at the window says there’s no one in the Whitney Houston suite.” Ambulance Driver: “Oh, well. Drive around the courtyard. There’s only so many rooms at Habib’s Crack Palace and Arms Bazaar. Maybe we’ll find our guy.” RP: “What did the dispatch notes say again?” AD: “Intoxicated male, in the Whitney ...

Recently, The Borg discontinued the use of 10-codes for internal radio communications. We had already been using plain English in all inter-agency communications, a federal requirement implemented post 9/11. Predictably, we’ve got a few folks bitching, voicing (erroneous and ill-informed) concerns about HIPAA, as if every denizen of Scanner Land hasn’t already memorized all our 10-codes anyway. In reality, they’re ...

Ex Missus: “Just letting you know I paid the lawyer this morning. Three weeks, give or take, and you’re a free man.” Ambulance Driver: “Cool. My harem was getting antsy.” EM: “Do you recall if the lawyer said Little Brother’s DNA test was required by law, or ordered at the discretion of the judge?” AD: “Can’t recall. Why?” EM: “Well, ...

That answer would be NO.

… while the rest of America wept and eulogized the dead pedophile, American soldiers died in Afghanistan, more people lost their jobs, North Korea launched a handful of missiles into the Sea of Japan, Congress passed the biggest tax increase in American history, and an EMT in Ohio mourned the death of her patient. I suppose I should be happy ...

I got yer pictures right here*… Father and daughter, stylin’ and profilin’ with their matching shades. KatyBeth, getting ready to ride, with her Joe Dirt Signature Model mullet blowing stylishly in the breeze. Her Mom and Grandma insist on calling it a layered cut, but as far as I’m concerned they ruined my daughter’s gorgeous waist-length hair. Gotta admit though, ...

… when someone’s life shatters around them, it is sometimes hard to remember why we even try. Day in, day out… people who don’t love themselves enough to take responsibility for their own health, and don’t care enough for others to lend a helping hand to their fellow man… it’s wearying. It can blind you to the very reason you ...

When you raise a child with cerebral palsy, life is all about finding alternatives, and seeking a balance between finding alternative ways to do things because the conventional way is impossible, and making her do things the conventional way, because even though it’s harder, it’s better for her. And that’s a delicate balance, hard versus impossible. Take diet, for example. ...

*Snerk.* Hat tip to Mule Breath.

By way of Mule Breath, a godless liberal hippie treasured friend, we have a Penn and Teller video on the freedoms we celebrate today. Go watch it. It’s really good.

I’ve been a fan of Steve McNair ever since he was “Air” McNair with the Alcorn University Braves. Few quarterbacks could sling the football as well as he could, and few played with as much toughness and grit. McNair put up some eye-popping passing stats in college, but in the NFL he proved that he was willing to do whatever ...

…I played on the water on a new (to me) jet ski, and KatyBeth and I both got sunburned, despite repeated applications of SPF 30 sunscreen. I went to the range with Husband In Law, and we shot 1911s until we had to kick the brass aside to maintain our footing. The original plan was to fine tune my .270, ...

… means suppressing every instinct that manhood has instilled in you, and doing something else instead. Go see how my buddy JB On The Rocks handled his moment.

Ride Fast favors us with a graphic representation of how paramedics view motorcyclists. *Snerk.*