Keep Your Feet On The Gas!

A few days ago, I asked for your vote to help Chris Kaiser afford a new bathroom for his stepson Connor.

And in three short days, we vaulted Chris into first place in the Ugliest Bathroom Contest, first prize in which is a $7500 bathroom remodel which his family desperately needs.
 

But our task is not yet done, my friends. Kaiser's closest competitor is a weaselly type who is buying votes from a vote farm in Korea. This guy is nipping right at our heels, and we need to smack him down hard. Ideally, we'd love to force him to put up more of his money to buy votes, and still beat him like he stole our GI Joe action figure and whacked all the manes off our little sister's My Little Pony collection.

This dude must be stopped.

That's where you come in. This is the time to keep our foot on the gas, people. If you've voted already, vote again.

Then post the challenge on your blogs and Facebook pages, like their Facebook page, and urge your network of readers and friends vote again.

Are we going to let Kim Jong Un's little vote-for-fee factory beat us?

HELL NO WE'RE NOT!

Are we gonna let a bunch of North Korean kimchi-eating Commies win this contest for some slimy sucker who probably drives a Prius and plucks his eyebrows?

HELL NO WE'RE NOT! THIS IS MURRICA, DAMMIT!

Are we gonna let Connor, Amy, Chris and Annie continue to poop in cramped squalor?

 

HELL NO WE'RE NOT! AND IF GUNNY HARTMAN WERE HERE, HE"D TELL US TO VOTE THIS FAMILY A BATHROOM SO FINE THE VIRGIN MARY HERSELF WOULD BE PROUD TO GO IN THERE AND TAKE A DUMP!

(And you know he totally would.)

Are we gonna let this guy and his North Korean vote lackeys thumb their nose at us? Who do they think we are, the U.S. State Department sending yet another namby-pamby, strongly-worded message asking them pretty please to stop their nuclear program?

HELL NO WE'RE NOT! WE'RE GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES BACK NORTH OF THE 38TH PARALLEL, AND THEY CAN GO BACK TO EATING FERAL CATS, HEATING THEIR HOMES WITH CANDLES, AND POWERING THEIR LAPTOPS WITH BICYCLE GENERATORS! WE'RE FED UP, DAMMIT, AND WE'RE GONNA KICK SOME ASS!

AND WHEN IT'S ALL DONE, I"M GONNA BUY EVERYBODY WHO VOTED A FREE SLURPEE MACHINE AND A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF BEEF JERKY, AND WE'RE ALL GONNA GO TO KAISER'S HOUSE AND TAKE TURNS POOPING ON HIS NEW THRONE WITH AN ENGRAVED IMAGE OF KIM JONG UN ETCHED INTO THE BOWL!

SO WHO'S WITH ME?

 

WOLVERINES!!!

So… um, yeah. Ya'll, uh, go vote, please. One a day, every day, until the contest ends at midnight, Sunday March 24th. Tell all your friends to do the same. Let's keep our foot on the gas.